I am a man in my early 40s who acted as a bull when I was between 18-28 years of age. I consider myself retired now as I have not actively participated in the lifestyle as a bull for years. Still, those years as a bull were among the most enjoyable of my life. I was successful because I avoided the pitfalls that ensnared other bulls. I see young bulls today stumbling into the same pitfalls and wish to share how I avoided them. Though wordy, this post outlines the process I used to become a successful bull.
When I started as a bull, I had limited success. That was because I was making the same set of mistakes that all the other bulls were making at that time; we were almost exclusively focused on connecting with existing cuckold couples. Bulls would try unlikely approaches such as showing up at swingers’ bars by themselves and attempting to find a married woman to sleep with. The idea of showing up at a swinger bar alone is comical by itself, and it also ignores the fundamental differences between the cuckold and swinger lifestyles. Alternatively, bulls would post or respond to personal ads online only to drive hundreds of miles to be stood up or not find a suitable match.
The problem was that there were simply not enough open cuckold couples to make matching with them practical. The prospect of connecting with these couples online is particularly dubious. Unless a cuckold couple is looking for something very specific and needs to cast a wide net, there isn’t much incentive to look online given all the issues with finding online partners that are so prevalent these days. Most real hotwives will reach out to men in their lives who they already know and find attractive. This approach is likely to be much safer and satisfactory for a cuckold couple.
I see young bulls making the same mistakes today. They post dick pics of themselves online with a caption beckoning hotwives and their cuck husbands. While these efforts do sometimes pan out, young bulls need to prioritize cultivating new cuckold couples rather than reaching out to existing ones. Importantly, this process involves a considerable degree of trust and social finesse. It really needs to happen in person. I question whether it is feasible to do online. Once I figured this out and changed my approach, I experienced a dramatic change in my results.
From 18-28 years old, I had sex almost exclusively with married women. I did not even have a conventional relationship during that period of my life. I am above average physically in all respects, but I am not a male model, a Mr. Universe contender, or a porn star. The key to my success was that I had a process that I followed. That process capitalized on the notion that cuckolding had secret widespread appeal.
Over the last couple of years, studies of sites that carry sexually themed material revealed that cuckolding is one of the most popular themes in porn, and that it appeals to both men and women. This was something that I realized much earlier than the media apparently did. How I realized that so long ago is actually an interesting, but separate story. If you read this far, and you want to bear with me a little further, than I will describe my process and how I had success with it.
The first thing for a bull to consider is what kind of married couples to approach. I had the most success with couples where the wife was between 30 and 45. I had experiences with several who were younger and a few more who were older, but the overwhelming majority fell in that range. On average, I was about 12-17 years younger than the wives I slept with. Just as most men sexually prefer younger women, most women sexually prefer younger men. Sure, many women prefer to marry older men for reasons such as stability, but they prefer to sleep with younger men. Youth is a beauty all its own. Even if you are just average, if you are 20 years younger than her husband, you might as well be Adonis himself in a wife’s eyes. Interestingly, I also found that there was less resistance from husbands if the age difference was more pronounced. Don’t underestimate the importance of your relationship with the husband. He is the initial gatekeeper.
The next thing to consider is how you will meet married couples. For me, the key was to start by getting to know the husbands. Volume is the key factor here. You should start with the married men who may already be in your life through existing friendships, work, or the neighborhood. However, you must go beyond these existing relationships and meet as many as possible. This might entail getting out of your comfort zone socially and being active in sports, clubs, happy hour groups, and as many other social gatherings as possible. Again, you need to meet these husbands in person, not online.
Once you have identified a husband, you need to assess his propensity to become a cuckold. After getting to know the husband socially, I would invite him out for happy hour drinks on a Thursday at a local bar. I would make sure only to invite him and to pick a place where we were unlikely to run into other people we knew. One of the most important things a bull can do is to remember the social stigma around cuckolding. Keeping the husband and later, the wife, away from the judgmental eyes of their friends and family as you are testing the waters is absolutely critical. This will be a theme that I will stress again and again.
Once we are at the bar, I will order and pay for his first drink. The drink will not be a beer. It will be something much stronger like whiskey. I have found time and again that alcohol is an essential social lubricant for this entire process. After making some initial small talk, I will casually bring up the topic of sex. I will address the topic in a way that suggests I seek his advice. Remember that he will likely be older than me and thus predisposed to give older brother advice. I might start the conversation with something like the following.
“Man, I’m seeing this girl right now, and I like her, but she is really prudish. I’m at the point where I need to decide if I should get serious and stay with her or move on. I’m unsure if she is long-term material,” I would begin.
“You’re in a successful marriage. How sexually adventurous was your wife when you first got to know her?” I would follow up and inquire.
There are two objectives here. The first is to see if the husband is comfortable discussing his wife’s sexuality with other guys. The second is to find out whether his wife is a prude. Most husbands will answer these personal questions as they are disarmed by how they are framed. On the off chance he refuses to talk about his wife or he outright states that she was and is a prude, then I scratch that couple off the list.
Assuming I approved of the responses, I would change the topic for a minute to diffuse any tension before returning to the discussion of my imaginary girlfriend.
“I think part of the problem in our relationship is that I have been with a lot of girls before her while she has only been with one other guy. That gap in experience results in different expectations. How many girls were you with before you met your wife?” I would ask.
In all honesty, I have no interest in his answer to this question. Its only purpose is to set up the subsequent questions. After he answers I would turn to my real objective, which is to find out about his wife.
“And your wife…what’s her name?” I would start.
Once he gives you his wife’s name, always use it to refer to her. Never refer to her as his “wife” again. For purposes of this dialog, let’s assume his wife’s name is Jennifer.
“How many guys was Jennifer with before you met?” I would continue.
The more the better in this case. If he seems willing to discuss his wife’s sexual past, then follow up with more questions but don’t go too far. The next question will be the most important of this first meeting. This will be the first signal as to whether or not he is open to being cucked.
“Do you have a picture of Jennifer?” I would casually ask.
Yes, he definitely has a picture of his wife on his phone. If he says no, he’s lying, and you’re done.
Assuming he shows you a picture, there are some things to consider. First, does he hand you the phone so you can look at her, or does he hold the phone while you look at her? Either way, you may have something to work with, but if he hands you the phone, it is an especially promising sign. The next thing to consider is the picture he selects to show you. Is it a face shot or does it show her body too? Is he in the picture too or is she alone? Is she wearing normal attire or a bathing suit at the beach or a revealing top on a night out? An optimal picture would show her body in something revealing and does not include him. If he hands you the phone, scroll through the pictures of her. That is a positive sign if he says nothing as you do.
This is also an opportunity to determine whether or not you are attracted to his wife. Let’s assume that you are and that you wish to continue pursuing her. Hand him back the phone and say, “Jennifer’s cute.”
Say this in a matter-of-fact and non-creepy way. That is enough for the first encounter. To review, if you made it through all these steps with flying colors then you have established that 1) the husband is open to discussing his wife’s sexuality with another man, 2) the wife is not a prude and has had multiple partners other than her husband, 3) he is willing to show you his wife even after it is clear that she is being discussed in a sexual manner and 4) he knows that you find her “cute”.
A positive finding on all these points indicates a reasonable chance that the husband would be turned on by the fantasy of being cuckolded. This is good news, but there is a huge gulf between being turned on by the fantasy of cuckolding and accepting the role of cuckold in reality. Be patient though – the first step is complete and you can move forward with this couple.
The next major step involves meeting the wife. This is the first point in time where a non-trivial fraction of husbands stop cooperating or just don’t follow through. Although somewhat direct, I prefer to be explicit with a husband about my desire to meet his wife. After a couple of meetings with the husband alone, I might say something like the following:
“Let’s hang out this weekend. I’ve been eating a bunch of junk food lately and could really use a home cooked meal. What do you say you have me over for dinner? That way we could save some money and I could meet Jennifer.”
If you are uncomfortable inviting yourself over, you could always suggest that the three of you go to a restaurant that they like. The key is for you to be explicit with him that you want his wife present. It is preferable for you to either go to their place or meet at a restaurant. If you have no other choice, invite them both over to your place. However, people are most comfortable in familiar environments such as their own home or in public places. Your place is neither, and it is paramount for them to be relaxed and off guard.
When you show up to dinner at their place, bring way more alcohol than is necessary. The husband will probably be the one who greets you at the door. After exchanging pleasantries with him, immediately proceed inside and seek out his wife. Address her by her first name and shake her hand. Use a firm grip and put your other hand on top of hers. Tell her that you have really been looking forward to meeting her. Complement her home and the smell of the food cooking.
As you proceed through the night, refill both of their glasses any time they get empty even if they make some indication that they don’t need more at the moment. Divide your conversation between the two of them evenly – 50% with her, 50% with him. Ask her about herself and ask follow up questions based on her responses. One of your objectives here should be to find out what her hobbies and interests are. When you are in conversation with her, you should be mostly listening. When you are in conversation with her husband, you should be mostly talking. Never refer to him as her “husband” or her as his “wife”. Get them both as drunk as you are able.
When you are about to leave, say privately to the husband, “Thanks for having me over and for the meal. It was great to catch up with you. I really enjoyed meeting Jennifer too. She’s seems like a lot of fun and is really attractive. Let’s do this again soon.”
Say this as innocently and naturally as possible. Do not give the “really attractive” part special emphasis.
When you are leaving, give him a bro hug and slap him on the back. Turn to his wife and give her a hug too. When you pull away from her, keep your right hand on her back, look her in the eyes and tell her that you really enjoyed meeting her and hope to see her again soon.
One unexpected fact that I learned is that the husband will always tell his wife that you said she was attractive. Even if he was upset by it and tells his wife that you were an asshole to say that to him, he will still tell her. It is just one of those things.
At the end of this meeting several things will be accomplished: 1) You will have been inside their home and dined with them. This will instill some sense of trust in his wife and will set the precedent for your presence in their home. 2) You will hopefully have learned some things about his wife that you can use to get closer to her. 3) You will have re-iterated to the husband that you are turned on by his wife. Having first described her as “cute” when he showed you her picture, you are now referring to her as “really attractive”. 4) The husband will almost certainly tell his wife that you said she was attractive. This will cause her approve of you more as everyone likes flattery, but it will also trigger her to subconsciously assess whether she finds you attractive and imagine (at least subconsciously) what it would be like to be with you.
A day or two after the dinner, you should follow her on social media. You should post positive and supportive messages about her content, but do not respond with anything romantic such as tagging her posts with hearts or that kind of thing. One of the most important things a bull can do is to remember the social stigma around cuckolding. Her social media will at a minimum be shared with friends and family. Don’t put her in a position where she feels socially obligated to reject you.
The last step that I cover here will be the next time you meet both the husband and wife at their place. This time, just arrange a night of cocktails and conversation. You don’t want the wife thinking she has to cook a fancy meal every time you come over. When you greet the wife this time, hug her and kiss her gently on the side of her cheek. Do this naturally and without hesitation like it is something that you always do. Importantly, pay attention to the way she is dressed. Remember, it is quite likely her husband told her that you said she was attractive. Did she dress up this time? Does it look like she got her hair or nails done? If so, all of these are really positive signs. If she did those things, she did them for you. She did them because she knows you are looking, she wants you to look, and she wants you to like what you see. Either way, compliment her on how she looks.
On this evening, you will be focusing your attention disproportionately on the wife. Spend at least 60% of the time in conversation with her. As always, do your best to cause both the husband and wife to drink as much alcohol as possible. The objective of the night will be for you to ask the wife to do some activity alone with you on another day. It should be clear that you are inviting her only, not her husband. The activity should be something superficially platonic. The invitation needs to happen in front of her husband.
In terms of the activity, it can really be anything. The point isn’t the activity, it is the alone time for the two of you. One approach is to use information that you have gathered about her from your conversations and her social media to suggest an activity that you know she likes but her husband does not participate in. I actually went bird watching with a wife once. Another approach, and my personal preference, is to invite the wife to do some kind of physical activity with you. Things like jogging together or inviting her to come as a guest to your gym make good suggestions. I find physical activities to be ideal because they facilitate opportunities for you to observe her body and for her to observe yours. Depending on the particular activity, you may also be in a position to touch or hold her. Either way, being in a state of physical exertion in close proximity to one another will heighten sexual interest.
You have to be careful when inviting a woman to these kinds of activities though lest she think you are insinuating that she is out of shape. Explain it something like this, “I love going to the gym. I don’t go for the exercise so much as I go to reduce stress. You mentioned that you had a bad week at work. There is nothing like a good workout for getting over a stressful week. My gym gave all members a free guest pass, but it expires at the end of the week. Come to the gym with me tomorrow. It will help. What do you say Jennifer?”
Although couched in different terms, you are essentially asking the wife out on a pseudo-date in front of her husband. If she responds in the affirmative without waiting for input from her husband, that is a very good sign. If she looks to her husband and he gives approval, that is also a good sign, albeit not quite as good as the first option. If she isn’t interested or her husband objects or makes excuses, then it is time to move on to another couple.
If you are successful, you have 1) received permission from a husband to see his wife alone after you have repeatedly expressed sexual interest in her and 2) attracted the interest of the wife who is choosing to spend that time with you instead of with her husband. If you have been successful up to this point, I think you can conclude with reasonable confidence that the husband is turned on by the fantasy of being cucked and potentially open to the possibility of actually becoming one. The wife, at a minimum, is open to exploring a relationship of some kind with you independent of her husband.
This post is getting pretty long, so I am going to stop my coverage of my process here, but you can probably imagine that it would keep going with a new step at every stage that would ultimately culminate in sex with the wife if successful. Does this process work every time? Of course not. Does this process work most of the time? No. I estimate that my success rate varied between 10%-25% per year. The key is volume. You need to try this process with as many couples as you can find. This will require you to orient your entire social life around meeting married men and following this process into their wives’ beds. I wish it was as easy as uploading a dick pic to a site and waiting for serious offers to pour in. Unfortunately, that is not how this works. It never did and likely never will. You have to put in the work to reap the rewards.